Sunday, September 2, 2012

WHYTE NOT????

WHYTE NOT??
Ok Ladies, and men of Miami-Vice (google that Generation X-ers who have no idea who Miami Vice is)…The annual fashion faux pas question I struggle with each year at this time---do I wear white after Labor Day or not?



I have such a hard time with knowing if this is still a widely accepted fashion no-no. I grew up with my mom putting all her white clothes, shoes, purses and anything remotely looking bright, happy and summery into a bin labeled “Summer Clothes” not to be opened until AFTER Memorial Day! ! Who started this rule of thumb--was it a conspiracy by clothing designers thinking women would purchase more clothes, if they were limited on the time they were “allowed” to wear them?  Or was it one of those crazy trends a Stepford Wife created and everyone just quietly conformed?

Heaven knows, I don’t want my 15 minutes of fame to be while you're flipping through a Glamour Magazine and you see a picture with my face covered by a large black rectangle on the page of Fashion No-No's brought to you by the Fashion Police—the kind of misdemeanor no woman ever wants to be connected with. I certainly don’t want a photo of my white pants-- after Labor Day-- if this truly is a crime!

Although, a rear view photo of me would be a far worse emotional “felony”.

 So here’s the thing…I bought this really cute top right before we went back to school, and it goes best with white pants. Well technically, the pants I have are actually IVORY. I wanted to wear this top to work, but with only 10 days before Labor Day, I have run out of time. One of those precious days Hurricane Issac took (just to blow hot air on us); then 5 of those days I felt icky with a head cold, women know you don’t want to waste a perfectly good outfit on a day when you don’t feel your best--so you won’t look your best; then 3 of those days I was pretty much isolated testing--therefore, the outfit would have gone the least noticed; and the last day was a dress down day--this top is not jean-worthy yet. Which leaves me with--AFTER Labor Day to sport this new beauty?
What happened to Hallmark deciding when the days of recognition are? I don’t remember seeing one noting “Last Day to Wear White” on my calendar.  But I do know, that they have September 21 labeled as “The First day of Fall”, and so by all accounts-it’s summer until then! So I ask my fellow fashionistas—do you dare wear white after Sept. 3, 2012?

By the way, speaking of fall, is it proper to decorate for Autumn BEFORE September 21st? Maybe this is for another Blog….

BLOG-CATION is Over!

BLOG-CATION is Over!

Have you ever had writer’s block that became a callus? I feel so bad for my students who don’t have a prompt for every writing sample they have to create, especially if they just aren’t feeling that creative energy at the moment! This has been my situation for the past 2 years…Well, I had moments of creativity, but you can’t always write in the shower, driving down the road or while you are listening to a friend pour out their life story. So I would immediately (after I got out of shower, stopped the car or left my friend), jot down the ideas I was writing mentally, and think--I’ll write about that later. Oh and I even discovered there’s an app for that too…I have pages of yellow notes on my phone, listing ideas of blogs!
However, I am by no means, “a writer”; I do enjoy it when I sit down and put the words on paper. I think I want to be a writer when I "grow up", but for now, if no one is holding me “accountable” (deadlines and paychecks) I just will write when I feel like it. Part of the reason I haven’t felt like it, was when I first started this blog, I was critiqued by some people who say I write too much for “a Blog”. I like to think of this as more of an exercise in practicing what I teach. So, warning: (sorry for analogy) when I do feel like writing, it usually is like “the runs” of my thoughts… they just keep coming. I will TRY to make my Blogs shorter and more Reader’s Digest-like, but I can’t guarantee anything.
That is why this weekend, when I had a burst of creative energy, I decided to take advantage of my ADHD brain and WRITE!! So I can say, my Blog-cation is officially over, for now…

Monday, January 24, 2011

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

It is what it is”--How many times have you heard this saying and not even thought twice about the real meaning? When do you say it and mean it, is it actually saying there is nothing you can do about it….but, what if you could change “It”?
                                                                      
While I sat with my husband in the examination room, waiting for the doctor to come in to confirm what we already knew—“it’s” cancer (again)--so many things run through your mind, as you sit and wait. But most of all, if you could only go back in time, the nagging “what if...?” Ok, so if a person could go back in time—does one go back a few months, a few years, a few decades????

“The Butterfly Effect”, a metaphor known as a small change at one place in a complex system, which can have large effects elsewhere as described by the Chaos Theory; and, if you saw the movie with the same name, you know how convoluted the results of this could be. It is basically how everything in your life has an effect on the past and present, until ultimately it can completely change the entire outcome of the future. So, if I was to go back and change how I ate, where I lived, what medicines I took, what environmental factors I was exposed to—would it take away the cancer? Possibly. But then, would I still be in Florida? Would I be teaching Deaf and Hard of Hearing students? Would I be married to Gary?? See, it could indirectly affect every aspect of my entire life?

Recently, while talking with a very dear friend, Natalie, who had successfully conquered two bouts with Cancer also, I was relieved to hear that she could relate to my feelings. She recognized the fact that God has a special plan for us going through what trials we are given. He is in control of the past, present and the future. However, we both saw some effects of the cancer-- both good and bad---having helped others in our life, as it did us, grow and change. We even said going through this is a unique experience, especially in the cases where there is a possibility it could be terminal—you look at life differently. It is a gift, and a burden, in a weird way. In a strange sense, this is one of “the benefits” to being diagnosed; it is as if God gives you a special glimpse into your past, present and future all at once. There are some things you don’t ever think you will have to think about, until the time comes. But, if given that time, even for a brief moment, you automatically think about them. It can change your perspective on things in a flash.

So I want to think of the Butterfly Effect as something different in the face of some kind of life-altering adversity or cancer. It is a chance to change the future, not the past, as quoted in one of my favorite sayings: “Just when the Caterpillar thought its' life was over, it became a Butterfly!” From this experience--the trials and tribulations that will come from it will make me become a better person just for experiencing “it”.

This blog is dedicated to anyone going through some form of adversity and to all the caregivers--may you find that “it is a new beginning too”. But most of all, I would like to dedicate this to a very special caregiver, my loving husband who has been in this cocoon with me for the past 8 years, and is very patiently waiting for the Butterfly to finally be released—thank you so much Gary for all the love and support to make this another great new beginning! Fly Butterfly...fly.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

When 3 F's Are Acceptable

If you come into my office and see my desk—you would probably give me an “F”, but not for the reason you may be thinking. Anyone who has ever gone to school knows an “F” is usually associated with a negative response, either from a teacher, your own self-esteem, or the ultimate-- parental disappointment! An “F” is usually written in red and refers to “failed”! Many other words that also start with that letter and have negative connotations, such as, “fall short of”, “fault”, ”fizzle”, “flop”, “false”, “flunk”, “finances”, ”fart” (yes I DID just write that!). Then there are some negative F’s that describe me….” Frizzy Forty-something”, four years to fifty”, & “frequently forgetful”!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                

When I was trying to come up with name for my blog, Gary who is sometimes a bit of a Facetious Fireman (yes I actually looked up “F” words to use for that comment), gave me today’s alliteration or title. I really wasn’t sure where he was going with it… until he said in a serious voice “Family, Friends and Faith”!

Wow, he came up with a good one, but not quite the angle I eventually want to go with this blogsite, so I decided to save it for one of the titles of a blog. I chose this week to post this particular one for a number of reasons: one being grades are coming out, it’s Flu season, but mostly because during this time of year it always seems to be about Family, Friends and Faith—preparing for the Holidays.

I truly believe the Fall Season (oh cool that one wasn’t even planned!!!), is such a perfect time of year. As the Holidays approach, we are reminded of spending more time with our loved ones, whether it is Family or Friends or both. Then onto Christmas which is still about those, but with a focus on Faith!!! It seems to be a common denominator in finishing up the year. Just like the Norman Rockwell paintings depicting the perfect scenes. Sure we have other times throughout the year that we may spend time with the F’s—birthdays, Easter and other religious/special holidays, but for Thanksgiving and Christmas time, we seem to be much more focused (again—not planned!) on the 3 good F’s.

Unfortunately, in reality, if this festive functional family & friend gathering is a fantasy for some, or if the thought of this season brings heart palpitations from anxious thoughts of “what if…”-- then that is when you throw in the faith, and you pray for fun amongst the dysfunction! There is always a twist to the perfect holiday or a price to pay.

I hope you are blessed with the 3 good F’s that make this holiday season a fabulous time together. However, if you are “blessed” with the 3 that put the frost in the air during a heat wave….I give you 3 new good F’s: forgetfulness—to help eliminate any distressful moments; forgiveness—to forgive your crazy family member or friend after posting the most embarrassing pictures of you: and food—to save you from having to have the awkward conversations or free you from football games as you prepare the meals.

Whatever words you regard as the Good F’s—keep in mind, Family can sometimes be fastidious; Friends can occasionally be fleeting, but Faith is the formula for FOREVER!


Saturday, October 16, 2010

I’M LIMEGREEN AND BLUE, WHAT COLOR ARE YOU???



No, I didn’t take a Facebook Quiz, nor am I suffering from some alien force abduction. We now live in a day where “Awareness Ribbons” have become our car decals, new way to accessorize for fashions or in some instance, our identity now. For years, we have tied a yellow ribbon around a tree to symbolize our support of the troops who are away fighting for us; we have been pinked by many products, commercial or fundraisers in awareness of Breast Cancer; and for a brief moment in time, there was even a “silent” standoff with a newscaster in our area, who was not allowed to wear a red ribbon in support of AIDS research. However, she would still wear it hidden under her lapel or in other various places that she would have been proud to say “Look”. Thus, people having been fighting a cause, in different colors for the past 30 or more years.
So on September 3rd, 2002, I found out “my color” would now be…limegreen! I was now going to be making others aware of my fight with Lymphoma—Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Ok-- they don’t hand you a ribbon and say, "Here’s your sign” (that’s Bill Engvall!). Why limegreen?? That made me think, if Pink is because it’s usually a woman with BC-- then how come limegreen?—aliens??? I didn’t get it—and who really cares. Anyway, back to awareness ribbons---I received my first one from Holly Horton, the mother of one of my students. ;) About half way through my treatment, she sent a limegreen bag to school with her then 4th grade son, and inside was a limegreen magnet for my car, a limegreen bracelet and a limegreen lapel pin!!! I was set!! And boy did I show off those things proudly! Not because I wanted everyone to know I had cancer, but to say I too have a “Cause”!!!

Since I became affiliated with a Cause… Lymphoma, and suddenly my wardrobe had more limegreen, my notebooks, my pens, my choice of handbags, etc.—I was so AWARE of limegreen, and what I could purchase in limegreen—as if the proceeds of my color went to help Lymphoma (even though they didn't). So to tie it into a “Cause”, I decided to get involved with Cancer Awareness, in general, through the Relay For Life—now I had lot’s of purple too. :) But I still was known to wear a limegreen ball cap.

During one of the Relays, I decided to honor all the different Survivors from all the various cancers by having a Balloon in “their color” released during Opening Ceremonies, so all the people there could see all the colors associated with the different kinds of cancer. It almost sounds sacrilegious to think of how beautiful a group of balloons looked floating away, but it did. 

There are so many different colors and you can kind of see why they choose certain ones. Like pink for Breast Cancer, then gold is for Childhood Cancers, because children are precious and gold is precious!! Red is for the heart disease--duh. I love the puzzle pieces for Autism, and the butterflies for Epilepsy. Then they have changed a few, some have two or three colors associated, not sure why, or even why some websites list one color, then another one says a different one. Who decided on these colors in the first place? You can find different websites to find the color for a particular cancer or cause.

Eight years later, I still wear my limegreen proudly, have
the magnet on my car and flash my bracelet, but I am now wearing a new color!! This color, ironically has been a part of my life since 1980, but I never knew the color until about 3 weeks ago! I am now the “proud awareness ribbon wearer” of the color BLUE!!! It is for Rheumatoid Arthritis (more to come in future Blogs about this). October 12, was Arthritis Awareness Day, and hey they didn’t JUST wear BLUE—this day was called “DO BLUE”…. This year I was definitely not very creative, but watch out next year—Smurfs there’s a new blue one in town!! Maybe I’ll see if I can join the “Blue Man Group”—oh wait would that be “Blue Person Group” then?? Never mind…just another thought for a blog.

This Blog is dedicated to the friends I have in common with my colors…the Lymphoma Limegreeners—especially little David (who is Gold and Limegreen), and my Blue Friends--RA Warrior friends and especially my dear friend Heidi & her two kids, who along with their mom and grandmother, have Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis also!!! We all are dedicated to these causes—to bring more awareness to these fights!!

Now that you know I’m limegreen and blue—what are you? Here are some websites to help find YOUR color!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

It’s All in the Name or Is It?

In most cases, when one is born, a name has either been a long thought out process by the baby’s parents; one passed down through generations; given in honor of someone special; or perhaps just a name they liked; and in some instances, the name is thought to be “fun and creative”-- a play on words! I’m a teacher, and have seen these children’s records come through the office, and the reactions on people’s faces when they read the name- out loud. For fun one day, we all listed on a white board some of the oddest names we have come across, either heard or actually saw, here's just a taste of what we had on the list:(make sure you pronounce them correctly) Lemonjello & Orangejello—that should have been LeMongelo & OrRangelo!  Jubal Lee, Aphroditie & Adonnis, Belle Pepper, Batman Bin Suparman, just to name a few. Honestly, why not just send the child to school with a target drawn on their shirt??

These situations can sometimes make or break a kid. Especially as they enter school, and have to “explain” their name or correct it as the teacher tries, but verbally assaults it. Hence, the beginnings of a nick name to avoid the humiliation of the other children knowing. Although, I have a friend, who was actually given the name “Baby Girl” on her birth certificate—I think her parents thought a name would just come to them when she was born, but having two other children still in diapers at the time, they were a bit exhausted, and so they decided to think of one later. But in order to leave the hospital she had to have something on her Birth Certificate, so she was named by the hospital- Baby Girl! And her college friends were not so kind, once we knew this information. :) But by then, she had learned to live with it, and had a pretty good sense of humor about it. Now-a-days, you must leave the hospital with a name, anything. However, if this is the case, the person can always change it later to a name they prefer. Hey that’s what Prince, the singer/songwriter, did—he became—a symbol, consequently an unpronounceable symbol, and is now “Formerly known as Prince”! Come on, seriously, do you really think he actually thought that out long and hard??

Even though your given name can be changed, if you choose to do so, everyone comes with a last name--the generational lineage of who we really are-- where we come from, and who we descended from. It gives us a stronghold of heritage and culture, a link to our fore fathers. And for some--a bullying target! For those who were fortunate enough NOT to have a “unique” surname, let me give you a taste of what it was like growing up with the last name Fell. My maiden name, the name my step-mom, sister-in-laws, nieces and nephews now share, is a first grade spelling word, so how bad could that be? Besides having to always say, “F like in Frank-E-L-L” when on the phone, because inevitably they think you said “Sell”, or there are the phonetically challenged ones who spell it Felt or Feld or Phell. But then there is the comedic sides of having a last name like this-- if I had a penny for every time I heard someone say, “Nancy Fell—did she hurt herself”?  AND then laugh, as if they were the first one to say it, I would be rich!!! Oh that wasn’t all, not only did we hear that all the time, you would see things written next to our name like…”Fell down and go boom”. (like the samples in the pictures of my corresponding friends) Oh, and I loved the ones when I was dating, friends would suggest finding a man with the last name “Apart” or “Off” or “Over” or classic “Down” and hyphen my new name to be Nancy Fell-_____!  haha I have to admit it made me have a sense of humor about it all, that I learned to just add to it. Since my middle initial is “R”, in college I convinced everyone to believe my mom’s maiden name was Reeley, and since she picked my first name, my dad got to pick my middle name, so he decided to go with my mom’s maiden name, which meant I was Nancy Reeley Fell—they bought it, now who’s laughing??? So you CAN make the best of a unique situation. Although some of these name games may be too much, and we would be back on the “You named your child what?” bandwagon. You know like, if my grandmother got her way and convinced my parents to name the twins-- Jack and Jill Fell or to name one of us Grace or Tripp! Phew that was a close one---so it is safe to say, we don’t have any like that in our family......yet!

On that note, I dedicate this Blog to the man who blessed me with my REAL (no pun intended) middle name of RenÄ—e, my Dad; who has had to live with the Fell jokes a lot longer than any of us has, and who I learned from to take what you have and make the best of it! As much as it was a bulls-eye for jokes and teasing—it was one I am proud to have and been part of, whatever European lineage we come from. However, so much for the heritage or genealogy of a name—we have never been completely clear on where the name “Fell” actually came from. The irony to having a name that “means something about your past” is, we probably are just descendants from a clumsy Englishman.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Because of the Daisies

Finding a name for my Blog was such a difficult decision, and I found this to be more challenging then actually writing a blog. I have had family & friends (yes a few) :) , who have asked me to start my own blog. But to be honest, even though I have tons to say--those who know me can vouch for that-- I just didn’t have the right “name” for a Blogsite. After much time and deliberation (with my husband, Gary), and scratching off ones that wouldn’t work, I finally came up with “Because of the Daisies”.  A bit more of a serious side than I wanted it to be, but for what I want to say- it truly is just the right one!

Usually I am drawn to “play on words”, maybe because part of my job is helping kids with language issues, or possibly because I’m a visual learner and they help me to visualize things better, or just that I have a strange sense of humor. Whatever the reason may be, I really wanted something fun and catchy, or something that when I tell people the name of my Blog site—they would say, “Oh that is so clever!” I wanted something to tell people a bit about me or my life, without being negative or a phrase that would draw people in, but not followers who were hoping for a whole other category (i.e. ”nancysjoint”  is probably not one that people would instantly think I was going to tell them about why my fingers look the way they do…). But, as I discovered late one night—just about every fun, catchy, cute, clever, original and creative Blog name is-- “Unavailable”! Are you kidding me? As Gary said (and by the way thought of the ultimate title ), sometimes you just have to step away from what you think you are aiming for…”

My goal for this Blog is to talk about what I have been through in my life up until now, and how it has made me who I am today—for all you “lucky” people who have seen this transformation. :)  My story is probably no more unique in ways than anyone else (everyone has a story), but I feel like God has brought me through my storms with the help and strength of others He has blessed me with in my life, and by my Faith in Him. Therefore, I am going to try to dedicate each Blog I write to a person who has been in my life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

I dedicate this Blog and title of the site to my mom, who along with my faith gave me the perseverance to hold on to the sail when the wind is blowing me off my ship! She may not be here to read my words, but there is no doubt in my mind she has still helped inspire these words and helps me wake up every single day and thank God for the strength He has given me.

Daisies were her favorite flower—hence, the reason my spare bedroom is done in daisies, my office cubicle, flowers in my wedding, and now my Blog; and most importantly she is the reason I collected a daisy for every chemotherapy treatment and each bone marrow biopsy I was “graced” with. (My profile picture is of these particular daisies). So whenever I am having a tough day or making a hard decision, I look at my vase and think -- because of the daisies-- I can do it!!! Thus the name is perfect. :)  I would have never thought a daisy, which means innocence, purity and cheerfulness; could be such a powerful symbol in my life!